Just putting out some thoughts about where we have all been, where we are going, and how to get it done. And I dont mean more travel. I mean emotionally. 
I have had the pleasure and displeasure of having to leave Cali for 2 weeks. My father recently became very ill and had to move from NY to NH. I was asked to return to NY (because Im the only sister not working) to gather some of his stuff, cats, that they couldnt bring with a sudden move. And basically just check in on what he left behind. Then I was to go visit with him up in NH for a few days and continue on to Portsmouth to take care of some of our things that we now need in Cali. So anyway, though its been for a sad reason, I have gotten a little va-ca to myself. Poor Ralphie has been left with 4 kids, no money, stress, all by his lonesome out there. He has handled it like a champ. And Reilly has stepped up amazingly, babysitting all day while Ralphie is out, which with Edie and Oden thats an incredible feat.
So even though this trip was tiring for me, packing his stuff and such, and dealing with emotionally challenging family dynamics (mine). I did find time to carve out some thoughts and rejuvenate a bit. I have never had 2 weeks to myself,  not in over 20 years.
I really  want to make some new commitments to myself and my family. I have been really stressed over everything that has happened in the last few months and its got to stop. Me worrying and not enjoying life is not helping to bring in more money, so it has to change. For myself it has to change.
I need to get my creative juices flowing again. In past experiences when money was tight I could come up with amazing cheap creative ideas. For food, decorating, gifts, fun. Its like Ive had a "writers" block on this but I feel it starting to brew. Christmas is coming and I am petrified, but if I can once again tap into this part of me, not only will it be more meaningful and fulfilling but the children will be happy and not know any difference.
I need to laugh more. I am really forgetting how to do it. I need my children to laugh more. We used to be so much funner.
I need to slow down and breath. Enjoy moments that are passing and not rush off to get something useless and stressful done.
I NEED TO ATTEND TO OUR BLOG MORE OFTEN, Forever I have had the dream to travel and write what its been about. Our trip out here didnt come out like I expected and I gave up. Now it is my goal to grab hold of the remains and do what I set out to do. Write. Experience and write some more. I look to you all to remind me when I slack. Here or on facebook, ok Promise?
Negativity is like a disease. It just spreads and eventually kills your life.  A dear friend resently reminded me that ,with my way of thinking, negative,  nothing is going to change. Positive energy brings back positive energy. All day, every day ,I am saying horribly negative things, putting it out to the universe and it is absolutely coming back 10 fold. No more, habits are hard but Im breaking this one.
Ok so my list is long but basically it comes out to having a new outlook on life, so my family can too. But to sum it up here are my new commitments, screw new years resolutions, this has to happen NOW

Get creative
laugh
breath
write
shut up

I finally had a dream come true and Im blowing it, I refuse to let that happen.
More commitments to come

Next blog "confessions of an insane housewife"
Love to you all, stay sane, slow down,   Leighann